All Alone!...

"All Alone! 
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot."
                                ~Dr. Seuss



So we made it past the first treatment and we saw his oncologist Thursday.  Things seem to be progressing, in a positive way.  The medications are working and his doctor seems very optimistic.  We are not out of the danger zone yet, but things are looking brighter.  Aaron's symptoms have already started to calm down.  Partially because of the steroids, but partially because of the treatment.  We won't see any major changes until a couple of months from now, but last night Aaron only woke up 3 times instead of 20.  He has less night sweats and he isn't coughing as hard as he has been, plus he can actually sleep more.  Sleep has been something of a rarity around our house for quite sometime.  From having babies to illnesses.  It's been years since we have been able to sleep well and it seems to be turning a corner for all of us.

Since 2003 we have lived away from both of our families.  When we started having children our support consisted of parents flying in for the birth and staying for a couple of weeks to a month and us saying we didn't need meals or anything during those times, then left to our own devices after they left.  We have always felt that we could handle everything alone and that was just how we were going to have to do it, at least that's what we thought. 

I can't begin to explain how our perspective on life really changes.  I don't wish this on anyone, but I do wish we could all use some perspective on life.  The things I find important now are a little different than before.  I think we put so much pressure on ourselves about making sure we have the right jobs and are labeled as the right type of person, that we lose the importance of what this life is about.  It's about relationships and friendships and helping each other to be successful.  Who cares about the labels.  If we dropped this idea that we all need to conform to the same ideas, we might see each other in a different light.  We might be able to accept each other for who we are and not what we are not.  This life is filled with different types of people and we don't all believe the same or have the same understanding.  That is the way it is supposed to be, but we are all the same in that we are all God's children and that we are here together.  In this life we are always going to have weaknesses and challenges that we have to overcome, but do we have to be alone?  I know we don't, now.  There are so many good people in this world and that we all want the chance to help and serve others.

The other night a neighbor brought over dinner and we expected something from a box, because of how it was listed on the sign up chart.  When dinner arrived it was exactly as it was listed, Macaroni and Cheese, however it was made from scratch and a side of fresh fruit and garlic bread - and it was delicious.  I was so touched.  And I thought how silly it was for me to be so emotional over dinner.  But I realized that everyone who has brought us food has really taken the time and effort to feed us well.  Our neighbor said when she brought it over, that she understood how hard it is to accept service, but that everyone is just looking for an opportunity to help and that it makes them feel good.  :) How selfish that when people want to help, we think we have to do it on our own to prove something to ourselves.  At least to myself.  I am really taken by what her son said as well, he said "what better way to make friends than to serve others."  It's true!  I can't even begin to explain how humbled I am by the service, and it has changed my perspective on life.  Service and love can truly bring a community together and make friends out of the least likely of people. 

When we first moved into this community, it was really disjointed and lots of animosity existed among our neighbors, but over time with some service and activities to bring us together, it has changed and people are more concerned and more involved and care more about each other.  Isn't this how it should be?  Shouldn't we all be working together even with all our differences.  There are so many good people in this world and service can change us to be better and see this world in a different light.  I don't mean to get on a soap box, but I have to admit that it has been a hard lesson for me to learn.  I have had a lot of trust issues and to allow others to help us has started to heal that part of me.  I have to admit, I still feel guilty, like I am not able to concur this alone but alone is something we shouldn't have to be in times of need.  And it feels good to have a little less stress and a lot more sleep.